Why I’m Going on the World Race

We all question God. We don’t like to admit it, but we do. As human beings, we naturally question and doubt the people around us. For me, I’m kinda quick to trust. I’m a “I’ll trust you until you give me a reason not to” kind of person, and even then, I’m pretty quick to forgive. There’s no “best way” to live your life, that’s just how I live mine. But, why is it so hard for me to trust in the Lord? It isn’t hard for me to trust in the fact that He loves me. It’s just hard, sometimes, to trust in His plan for my life. Like, come on man… I know You saw me spend the entirety of last semester stressing over graduate school applications, all to let me delete them at the last second out of skepticism – really they were my doubts DISGUISED as hints from Him, I now realize. God, I KNOW You saw my breakdowns. All those days and nights I questioned what the heck I was going to do with my life. Everything, up until now, has been planned. Get through high school, graduate. Get through college, graduate. Now what? When you’re in the midst of something, it’s hard to see the bigger picture. And this year, I was in the MIDST of my OWN ambitions and goals, too caught up to acknowledge His plan for my life. Why does God choose to keep things secret? To show us that we need Him. I know that. I’ve KNOWN that, but I obviously forgot. He not-so subtly reminded me. Honestly, I got a little too comfortable thinking I was in control. When He created me, He created the story of my life. Every second up until now… every word, every thought, that’s all easy memory for Him. Slight work, I’m sure He’d call it. My whole life is ahead of me, and He has planned every moment of it. That goes for you, too. Have faith in it. Trust in it. The Lord is in control, and His plan for you is better than any plan you could have for yourself… that’s what I’ve been learning, anyways.

The World Race came to mind over Christmas break, and it never really left. I sat on it for a while, questioning why I was feeling pulled in this direction. Am I even fit to be a missionary? What makes someone “fit” to be a missionary? Choose someone more knowledgeable than me, God. Maybe someone who has sinned a little less. There is no way I’m qualified. Whatever being “qualified” to spread the name of Jesus means. Seriously, Riley? I chose to take the leap of faith with the support of my family, hoping and praying that the “pull” I was feeling was from Him. Is this what You want for me? Is it a part of Your plan? Turns out, it is. Letting go of what I thought I wanted or needed, I feel free. It’s the weirdest feeling. I have a peace I’ve never felt before. HE led me here, and I can see the bigger picture, now. I have no extraordinary story. Rather, my journey to this point is more or less a testament of what trusting the Lord looks like, and it looks different for everyone. I am choosing to follow Him in faith because He thinks I’m ready for this. So, I’ll trust that. It may have taken a little while for me to FULLY trust that, but we’re here now. I’m going. I’m going for Him and for those that don’t know Him, and He is preparing me to walk this path that’s been waiting for me since the moment I was born. The places I will go, the people I will meet, all of it is in His hands.

Thank you, Lord, for pursuing me. Thank you for giving me my desperate heart that finds peace in You.

You lead, I’ll follow.